The Yolk of an Egg

Day one of the beautification process:

It probably wasn't the best of timing. I had planned my first recipe concocting session for an evening following a 14 hr shift at work. Even more so given it was a Saturday and getting up early on a weekend always feels worse. It makes a 14hr work day feel like 24. But the day crept along, I struggled through and eventually it was time to go home.

Leaving work at 19:00 I drove home, spending the commute trying to convince myself that mixing, zesting and pulping lemons would indeed be a cathartic experience. The perfect antidote to a long day. 25 minutes later as I arrived home I had succeeded in convincing myself. So much so that I walked through the front door, barely pausing to drop my bag and headed straight for the kitchen. Admittedly this zeal was slightly overboard and unnecessary. Let's be honest, there was hardly anything urgent about covering my face with blends of various food stuffs, but that's just me. I was focused on the task ahead. Indeed for most people they would have realised that beginning such an adventure after a long day at work may not have been the most sensible of ideas. But common sense and me rarely cross paths.

So that is why I am sat here at 9pm, with tired eyes and a face that feels as if it has been dipped in concrete. From my vague recollections of face masks this is akin to how they feel. Which in my mind means one of two things. Either the concoction on my face is pretty similar to commercial face masks. Or it could quite simply be that if you smear anything over your face the skin becomes taut. Something I will obviously have to further investigate.

But the questions I am sure you are all asking is what was in this concoction and did it work! Firstly, no lemons, they're still sat on the kitchen worksurface. With half a dozen eggs sat redundant in the fridge, I decided eggs were the way to go. So now I am sat here with egg on my face, quite literally. Well, egg yolk and a desertspoon of olive oil.

At this moment I have to confess that I didn't pay a great deal of notice as to exactly what it promised to do to my skin. All I know is that at the moment my skin has taken on a rather attractive orange tinge. As for the question of whether it worked. Perhaps a little too early to tell, but thankfully no sign of swelling or red blotches yet.

Having completed recipe number one fairly painlessly I think there may be visible benefits to these treatments. Though, I think my concocting skills may need a little honing in the future. It's incredible how much mess you can make mixing an egg yolk and olive oil. So whilst my skin may take on an undefinable glow, it is all inconsequential if I'm stood covered in splashes of egg!