The Yolk of an Egg

Day one of the beautification process:

It probably wasn't the best of timing. I had planned my first recipe concocting session for an evening following a 14 hr shift at work. Even more so given it was a Saturday and getting up early on a weekend always feels worse. It makes a 14hr work day feel like 24. But the day crept along, I struggled through and eventually it was time to go home.

Leaving work at 19:00 I drove home, spending the commute trying to convince myself that mixing, zesting and pulping lemons would indeed be a cathartic experience. The perfect antidote to a long day. 25 minutes later as I arrived home I had succeeded in convincing myself. So much so that I walked through the front door, barely pausing to drop my bag and headed straight for the kitchen. Admittedly this zeal was slightly overboard and unnecessary. Let's be honest, there was hardly anything urgent about covering my face with blends of various food stuffs, but that's just me. I was focused on the task ahead. Indeed for most people they would have realised that beginning such an adventure after a long day at work may not have been the most sensible of ideas. But common sense and me rarely cross paths.

So that is why I am sat here at 9pm, with tired eyes and a face that feels as if it has been dipped in concrete. From my vague recollections of face masks this is akin to how they feel. Which in my mind means one of two things. Either the concoction on my face is pretty similar to commercial face masks. Or it could quite simply be that if you smear anything over your face the skin becomes taut. Something I will obviously have to further investigate.

But the questions I am sure you are all asking is what was in this concoction and did it work! Firstly, no lemons, they're still sat on the kitchen worksurface. With half a dozen eggs sat redundant in the fridge, I decided eggs were the way to go. So now I am sat here with egg on my face, quite literally. Well, egg yolk and a desertspoon of olive oil.

At this moment I have to confess that I didn't pay a great deal of notice as to exactly what it promised to do to my skin. All I know is that at the moment my skin has taken on a rather attractive orange tinge. As for the question of whether it worked. Perhaps a little too early to tell, but thankfully no sign of swelling or red blotches yet.

Having completed recipe number one fairly painlessly I think there may be visible benefits to these treatments. Though, I think my concocting skills may need a little honing in the future. It's incredible how much mess you can make mixing an egg yolk and olive oil. So whilst my skin may take on an undefinable glow, it is all inconsequential if I'm stood covered in splashes of egg!

Lotions and Potions

For those of you who know me, (when I say know I mean have seen me) you would probably be surprised to hear that one of my most recent book acquisitions was one on beauty. More precisely, on Eastern beauty. You’ll be less surprised to hear that the reason for this purchase is not straightforward!

However, it’s not that I’m not interested in beauty and it’s not that I don’t try to look feminine. It’s just that I seem on the whole to fail, or at least don’t manage stereotypical feminine with ease or competence. That’s fine with me though. I’ve gone through the phase of meticulously putting make up on before I leave the house (ok when I say before I leave the house I really mean in the car on the way to college!) Said make up usually managed to stay on my face for about 2 hrs until it seemed to mysteriously vanish. (Admittedly having my face hovering over a Bunsen burner in Chemistry was seemingly not compatible with matt finish foundation).

So I am now of the opinion that femininity is more a state of mind and actually has very little to do with the shade of lipstick you are wearing.

Having said all this it is not as if I have an aversion to looking, or at least trying to look babelike too and I do possess a cupboard full of beautification paraphernalia. Should I so desire I know I could put my hand on something that would tone/ moisturise/ cleanse/ buff/ tan or add sparkle to my skin. I even get marginally excited when Boots send me an email to tell me I can get double clubcard points should I fork out for some obscure beauty product. (However this is probably more an indication of my love of boots clubcard points! – current total £31 than my love of obscure sounding beauty products).

Why the beauty book then? Well I have a plan, not a particularly cunning plan, but a plan all the same. I am going to take inspiration from the ancient east and start making my own skincare products. (Avoiding all the recipes that use lethal ingredients like lead!) Ok, now at this moment even I am sat here trying to figure all this out. Someone who has a cupboard full of lotions and potions to hand which in spite of this she doesn’t use is going to spend hours making lotions and potions from obscure and indeed vial sounding ingredients.

The missing link in all of this is Julie and Julia, a fabulous novel I wouldn’t hesitate in recommending. Which basically follows Julie Powell’s journey through the epic task of cooking every recipe from Mastering the Art of French Cookery. So my idea? Share my experiences as I grate, plup, blend and apply various foul sounding concoctions to my face and body.

It may be entertaining reading, I guess time will tell! But if I don't post anything on here for a while you can probably assume I've had some allergic reaction which has made my eyes swell up so I can't type. Or there is the alternative explanation that my skin has become so wonderful that I have been spotted and will soon be gracing a cover of Vogue minus the need for airbrushing out inperfections!!!!!!